Pet jokes
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.