Pet jokes
I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.
I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
What does Hellen Keller call her dog?
"NAUSHFBUYGWF"
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.