Pet jokes
What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him for a drag.
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?
His Boba Pet.
What is a Mexican's favorite type of dog?
A Chihuahua.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.