Me: Name all the planets.
Other person: Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury, Uranus.
Me: Not my anus!
Personal Jokes
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
