Person jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."
Robert Ryall
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
What do you call an Indian person who is not starving? Dead.
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"
You look like Megamind, drug dealer.
Talk to me if you're online.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
What is the difference between an orphan and a homeless person? Nothing, haha.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"