Person jokes
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
Hi person reading this.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Face Rev
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
Tyler
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
Hi, I'm cool.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
When there's a news story of people who have died en masse, for example from explosions and fires.
Other people are all "oh no that's terrible!"
Pfft shut up, lying asshole. Trying to be "nice".
I'm like "YAY EXCITING. I don't like being bored hearing 'good news' all of the time."
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)