Person jokes
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
Memes
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Make him read a book.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
How do you call a Goth with feelings?
Emomotional.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.