Person jokes

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?

Stephen Hawking.

I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.

Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.

He never sees his kids.

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?

They can't find home plate.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

Cameron and Pav.

When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?

When he is on the train.

Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.