Person jokes
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
What do you call a person whose heart stopped?
Dead.
You are the reason why child abortion still exists in the world.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
In his dream, some people gave the Hodja nine gold coins, but Hodja wanted ten. So he refused them. Suddenly, he awoke and saw that his hands were empty. So, he quickly closed his eyes again and said, "It's okay, I'll take the nine coins."
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."
When a white person says the n word,
black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
They are hairy.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
You're so fat that people say you're the biggest bird!
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Give a blowjob.
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.