Person jokes
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
What do emos use as birth control?
Their personalities!
What's a knife's favorite person?
The victim.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
Person: You can't kill an orphan!
Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?
At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.
Bill Cosplay
During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.
I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.
Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”
My friend was the only one who laughed.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.
Let's just say Dawn got very mad.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
You are quite [something].
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.