Person jokes
What’s an autistic person's favorite movie:
A Quiet Place?
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
What's a gay person's favorite meal?
Meat with white sticky stuff.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. So, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"
Q. What do you call a person with Alzheimer's?
It doesn't matter. They'll forget what you said in thirty seconds anyway.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
What do an orphan and a blind person have in common? They both can't see their parents.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."