Person jokes
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What do you call someone in a wheelchair being pushed by a cannibal?
A to-go order.
I can't make any more songs because nobody likes them. So when you see a song you like, give it a like so I can continue making more songs.
If anyone would like a song played, type it in the comments. Type the name of the song, then type the person who made the song, the songwriter. Sincerely, Watersharky Music Productions.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
Beau is gay.
What do you call a man without a body and a nose?
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
What was Hellen Keller's dog's name?
Durrrrrrrr.
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Name one person who would take an orphan?
Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.
Who is this Gwen everyone is talking about?