Person jokes
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
"Watch out, there's an iceberg!"
Other person: "We will be fine."
10 minutes later, drowns, says, "We will be fine."
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What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
you.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
There was a guy called John.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
Please encourage me to do suicide! ;P
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.
What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Chat anyone??? I'm sooooooooooooo bored.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.