Person jokes
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
Tyler
When you're born on 4/20/69...
How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?
Take off the wheels!
When there's a news story of people who have died en masse, for example from explosions and fires.
Other people are all "oh no that's terrible!"
Pfft shut up, lying asshole. Trying to be "nice".
I'm like "YAY EXCITING. I don't like being bored hearing 'good news' all of the time."
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, bleach.
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.
A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!