Person jokes
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
What's a person in a wheelchair's favorite sport?
Jousting.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
Bill Cosplay
You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.
August 2020: LeafyIsHere gets terminated on Youtube for harassing Pokimane.
Billy, a toxic kid in Leafy's fanbase: "Imane's life is a joke, that's why I call her Jokeimane."
A person who simps for Pokimane: "And you look like you came from a farm, Hillbilly."
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
Louie's IQ.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
What's the difference between a midget and a tall person? Only one of them can ride the rides.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
what do you call a white person having a seizure?
a vanilla shake.