Person jokes
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay person's house!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
What do you call someone with no arms and no legs?
A nugget.
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
John
Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What do a black person and Alexander Hamilton have in common?
They both got shot.
Someone asked me my gender... I said, "Woah, man."