Person jokes
Person: Where do I commit suicide?
Dog: Roof.
Person: Good idea.
Guess the joke.
Your girlfriend.
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
People are insane
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
When your crush walks in class but you're homeschooled...
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Jonah Oglan.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.