Person jokes
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What did John say after someone shot his leg?
Oof!
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Talk to me if you're online.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
Why did the emo person cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
More random keyboard words made into sentences:
This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.
Sam Mensah!