Person jokes
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
Memes
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Cameron and Pav.
Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.
Josh