Person jokes
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza? Pizza won't cut itself.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
Things said by racist aliens: "Some of my best friends are Green." "I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship." "You're very pretty for a Purple girl." "We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!" "Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people." "You 2-headed people are so stupid!" "No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes." "Get the hell out of my store you grigger!" "The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.