Person jokes
If a skinny person wants to gain weight, does that make them a trans fat?
Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.
Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).
Ti girls yiman nyan kuni karhata Nina munh.
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
One stops sucking when you slap it.
A married woman gets hit by a truck, and the cops tell her husband:
Cop: "Sir, it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
Man: "I know, but she has a great personality."
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
Symptoms of Schizophrenia.
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two or more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What do you call a hungry person?
African.
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?
Rolling Loud 🎸🎸
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.