Person jokes

Studies have shown that in London, a person is stabbed 24 times a second. Poor bastard!

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

What's a knife's favorite person?

The victim.

This is the true worst joke ever:

What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?

Hi!

Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?

Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.

Mother: Do you understand?

Leo: No.

Hi, I am Bill.

Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?

Person 2: Andrew?

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?

Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.

What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?

A KKKO.

True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

Hey you, the person who's scrolling, I know you might have depression and some feel they can't talk to anyone about it, so in the comments please, if you need to talk to others, if you comment about it and say you need to talk to someone, I promise you that I will talk to you. You are not alone, and even though it seems it won't change and get better, it will, I promise.

Please no harsh comments toward each other.

What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.

Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.

When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.

Like if you meet someone emo.

I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...