Person jokes

Russian Roulette

    • True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.

    (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)

  • 9

    • Titanic

    • (everyone on Titanic) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the ship will sink!!!!

    (person washing hands) I'm using the sink, wait your turn!!!!!

    (all crew members laugh) Hahahhahahahahah.

  • 0

    • President

    • A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

    And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

  • 1
    • Person memes

    Apology

    • Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

    And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

  • 5

    • Teacher

    • So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.

    1 hour before:

    So let me get...

    Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!

    Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*

  • 1

    • Time

    • This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).

    My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).

  • 0

    • People

    • So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.

    BUT!!!!!!

    I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

    As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

    I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)

  • 5

    • Suicide

    • People complain we are overpopulated.

    Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?

  • 3

    • FBI

    • The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.

    A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.