Person jokes
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"
What happens when a black person gets in a car? The check oil light turns on.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
The average Irish person consumes 131.1 litres of beer, almost as much as your mum at night.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world.
“The guy who tackles the Make-A-Wish kid!”
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
What do you call a person with a fat brain?
A fat neek!
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.