Person jokes
What do you call a person with no arms and legs?
You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
You’re the type of person who would pee before a shower.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
Someone in London is stabbed every two minutes. Poor guy.
No one is smart. I am smart.
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(
How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(
How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*
Stephen Hawking like black willies.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?