Person jokes
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
Neither of them respect boundaries.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
I said to the emo girl, "She gets jealous every time her phone dies."
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
Paul Walker.
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
If you are poor, get money.
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?
"Holy shit, I burnt one."