Person jokes

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”

I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.

Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"

Because he would have beef with Homelander.

What's the depressed person's favorite song?

Van Halen - Jump

Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.

I am cool.

Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.

Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

An emo tried to give me a high five...

I left him hanging.

Q: What do you call a person with Down's syndrome who smokes weed?

A: Baked potato.

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

That bloke Dean's a cunt!

How does a disabled person play chess?

I think you forgot they don't have legs.

What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?

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I was the person that flew into the Twin Towers. I have two friends that are both twins, and whenever they speak, I tell them to shut up because if they don't, I'll make myself explode in them.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still falling.

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.