Person jokes
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk, but only one person knows about it.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?
They both have no way home!
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.