How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
Person Jokes
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
I lost a race with a handicapped person today. The problem was the race was all stairs.
Gravity sure is fast.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(
How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(
How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
The definition of a stalker is two people going on a romantic walk, but only one person knows about it.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
How to complement a depressed person: "I like your cuts, g."
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
What do you call a virgin in Alabama? An orphan.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
Random person: "Just turn the page and start over."
Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."
