Person jokes
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
There were 5 people on an airplane.
1. The pilot 2. The businessman 3. The Minister 4. The school child 5. The Smartest person in the world
The plane takes off, a good, solid 1 hour in. The pilot comes out and says, "OK guys, I have good news and bad news."
"Bad News is the plane is gonna crash. The good news is that I have 4 parachutes."
The pilot says to his passengers, "Well I'm a pilot, I fly planes. People depend on me!" Took a parachute and went out.
The businessman stands up and says, "Well I'm a businessman, I run companies!" Took a parachute and went out.
The smartest person in the world stands up and says, "I'm the smartest person in the world. No one is smarter than me!" Took a parachute and went out.
Now the minister says to the school child, "Well God has given me a good life. I want you to take the last parachute," and the school child has a massive smile on her face and starts laughing all of the sudden and the minister says, "Why are you smiling?! We're about to die!!!!"
And the school child says to the minister, "Well actually [we're] not gonna die because there are still 2 parachutes left because the smartest person in the world just took my school bag!"
What do you call a person with a fat brain?
A fat neek!
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What do you call a person with a hole in their head? Dead.
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
What happens when Helen Keller picks her nose?
She slurs her words...