Performance jokes
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always stand out!
What’s a rapper’s favorite martial art?
Punchlines.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of SHOE?
Ad-lib-idas.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?
Flexin’.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The Trombone!
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To improve his FLOW-CULUS.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.