New Performance Jokes - Page 5

What do you call a pole dancer

A stripper

How did protestants performed in 16 century well done

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand comedy, oh wait.....

What is a group of singing terrorists called? a taliband

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat. The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools the hat was covering the hips

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and i asked him "why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time i perform people tell me I need new material."

What comedy skill can’t any cripple master? Stand up.

I was a sit down comedian then i try to stand up I felled

I wished i stayed in the wheelchair.

What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair? Hot wheels

Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing? Me: Sure.. ( Expecting a completely different response than what I get. ) Sister: Nvm, they have no difference. Me: * Confused * Sister: They're both horrible.

I was kidnapped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero? He woke up and found out it was true.

Please welcome Mozart's The Magic Flute...

In A minor.

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked.

Why did the Michael Jackson cross the road

To get to the opera

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶

- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏

Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶

my fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type, after performing some tests the doctor said " well the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."