Performance jokes
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
Why did the rapper apologize to the sidewalk?
He didn’t mean to SPIT that hard.
What kind of tests do rappers always pass?
Sound checks!
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?
He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
A LYRICAL WIZARD
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
Why did the rapper become a magician?
Because he wanted to drop some ILL-USIONS.
Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!
Why did the rapper bring a comb to the concert?
Because he wanted to STYLE his FLOW.
Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?
So the haters could SUCK on him!