Perception jokes

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

What has eyes but can't see?

Potatoes, storms, and needles.

You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭

Why can't a blind person eat fish?

They can't see food.

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

A blind man walked into a fish market and said... "Hello, ladies!"

How do you surprise a blind guy?

Say, "Surprise!"

God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."

"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."

If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?

You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.

Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.

1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.

When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.

The direction I'm looking.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.