People Jokes

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.

A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

The happier they get, the less they see.

like it if you judge peoples hair lines

I like my people how I like my tea..

In a bag under water.

Why do people want emo grass? Beacause it’ll cut itself.

Why can't disabled people make jokes.

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy isn't it?

A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"

And the skinny man responds: "when they look at you, they know why"

Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a padophile however I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8 year olds

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

A 10y.o. : I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7. A 10y.o. week later: Damn... my life is shitty...

<2y. later> 12y.o. : What is de-pre-ssion? *googles it*

Now 14y.o. : Oh...

I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.

He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.

Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?

Yea, they went through 80 stories in seconds.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb it takes two but don't ask me how they get inside

Grandma: young people your age are married by now,why aren’t you?

Me: old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head

A husband and a wife have four children the oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said “honey, can you be completely honest with me, is our youngest son mine?” The wife says “I swear to all that is holy he is your son.” Then the husband died and the wife muttered, “thank god he didn’t ask about the other three.”