People jokes
Women are like the Twin Towers. After you smash them, and if some little people start jumping out, the government is gonna tax the shit outta you.
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 20 people, then it exploded.
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.
For all the people with Covid-19, I just want to say... Stay positive.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."
Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."
Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."
Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."
What's one thing gay people can't draw?
A straight line.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.