You know people always say your life is worth it, but with me it’s worth-it-less

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Orphan- I want to kill my parents

People- I dont think you have the facilities for that big man

I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.

Idiot: The moon landing was faked! So unbelievable fake! Me: You believe in the moon? Stupidass.

It’s ironic that the more other people love you the more you hate yourself.

People are making end of the world jokes, like there’s no tomorrow.

Q:Do you know why people dont like abortion jokes? A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptyness inside.

A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it’s clear why everyone calls me handsome.

What do you call the people in the challenger explosion.

Ashtraynauts

The more people who like to eat tide pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

Teacher: People with Depression never get anywhere in life. Student 1: My mom has depression, but she died. Student 2: My sister has depression and she’s going to Therapy. Student 3: My Dad Has depression, and he’s Doing REALLY Well

Suicidal people are ground breaking

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don’t know. I used too, but don’t anymore.

Person: why’d you stop?

Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I’d try something.

Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.

What kind of tea do wealthy people own?

Proper-Tea.

“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say.

“Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say.

“Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

Why don’t blind people skydive? – Because it scares their dogs too much!

Best way to stop a fight between deaf people? Just turn off the Lights

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