What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
People Jokes
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Where do you buy a dishwasher?
Hot singles in your area.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
My advice to suicidal people: just hang in there. 🕺
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
