People jokes
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”
I only got one question wrong on my biology test yesterday.
The question was, "What is most commonly found in a cell?"
Apparently, "Black People" wasn't the right answer.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
Trump wants people to think he's a great golfer. But the only handicap he has is a mental one.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
They say there is power in numbers.
Tell that to the people in the Twin Towers.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
Is it so? Do people get freedom?
Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.