People jokes
I hate autistic people.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
Black people are living proof we evolved from monkeys.
What is the difference between Black people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets them.
I hate autistic kids and ADHD people because they are stupid, special, retarded, brainless freaks, and they are stupid.
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
In life, some people have it harder than others.
That's why Viagra exists.
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."