Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.
What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.
Whats the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
What part of a vegetable cant you eat, The wheelchair
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
