Parent

Parent jokes

Kidnapping

    • I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

  • 6

    • Family

    • My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

    Parent memes

    Orphan

    • What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?

    The mailman goes home at the end of the day.

    Orphanage

    • Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.

  • 1

    • Orphan

    • Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

    Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

    Daughter

    • So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"

  • 5

    • Insult

    • New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."

    Student: "But!"

    Teacher: "Is something missing?"

    Student: "Your parents!"

  • 0

    • Johnny

    • Lil Johnny came home one day and said, "What do fucking each other mean?"

    Then he walked through the living room and his dad was fucking his mom, so oh.