Parent jokes
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
Your dad died of hunger on the journey to find the milk.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.
Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.