Parent jokes
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Why can’t orphans order from Costa?
They need a parent or guardian with them.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
An orphan walks into a bar and the barman says, "What are you doing here? You need parent's permission!"
"Oh no, who will I ask?" the orphan says.
What is the difference between an orphan and a mailman?
The mailman goes home at the end of the day.
Orphans are so useless even their parents agree.
Why did the orphan take a selfie?
Because he wanted a family portrait.
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
If you're bored, pull a Technoblade, bully orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I have a crush on a girl and both her parents are millionaires.
I guess that gives the term "Eat the rich" a whole new meaning.
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.