Parent jokes
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
Today in 3rd grade English, the teacher asked the kids a question, "What turns on when you take your clothes off?"
Little Elsa blushed and screamed, "You can't ask that!"
The English teacher repeats the question and Elsa screams, "I'll tell my parents on you and get you fired!"
Finally, Little Tim raises his hand, "The shower, ma'am."
The English teacher clapped her hands, "Good job, Tim, and as for you Elsa, you do not have the body for that."
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.