Parent jokes
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"
I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.
God, orphanages are fun to work at!!
My daughter is super smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
You look like your mom and your dad had a child.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
What do orphans and deaf people have in common?
They can't hear their parents.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
Your mom's my dad. Think about that!
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.