Parent jokes
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To try to find his parents, but it was FREAKING USELESS!
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
Why are kids so skinny?
Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?
One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.