Parent jokes
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
Orphans are human, too! They just don't know who their parents are or where! I know four sisters named Mariah, Kariah, Lariah, and Iariah and they said they are orphans, too! And they are sad and they don't like your jokes!
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Why do orphans only have 362 days of the year?
... bc they don’t have Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or Thanksgiving.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.