Parent jokes
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
Orphan: Where are my parents?
God: New York City.
Orphan: But they used to live in China.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
What's the best thing about an orphan GF?
You don't have to meet her parents.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"
Looks like they didn't tell their parents.
Why did the orphan take a selfie?
Because he wanted a family portrait.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Orphan: I’m gonna tell my parents!
Me: Where are they?
Orphan: ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?
I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.