Parent jokes

I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.

There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.

People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

Dad jokes.

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

Who named their daughter Macadamia?

A couple of nuts.

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)

Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.