Parent jokes
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
The boy asks, "What gave me away?"
The man responds, "Your parents."
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.