Parent Jokes

A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”

Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

The image shows two panels. The top panel shows a mother looking at a baby with a loving gaze, the mother gently holds the baby's hand and kisses it. The text reads "WHEN MOM IS ALONE WITH THE BABY." The bottom panel shows a father's hands on a baby's cheeks with a slight squeezing. The baby has a pouty, grumpy face. The text reads "WHEN DAD IS ALONE WITH THE BABY."

Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?

Parental Login: __________

I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.

Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.

Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn't want her, why would I?

Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?

Because there is never anyone at the door.

Why can you slap an orphan?

Are they going to tell mommy?

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.

Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?

Because they don't know who's Homer.

A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks, "What gave me away?"

The man responds, "Your parents."

I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.