Parent jokes

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

What do you call an orphan family tree?

A tree stump.

How do terrorists feed their children?

Here comes the airplane.

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

Why did the orphan go to church?

To hear some "foster" parenting advice.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?

“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”

A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”

Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”

Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.

What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.

I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.

Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn't want her, why would I?

Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.

Why can you slap an orphan?

Are they going to tell mommy?