Pair Jokes

Why do golfers bring an extra pear of socks, in case they get a whole in one

If you have a pair and it runs around the street what do you call it a running pair

2 gay kids made their version of the jack,and jill nursery rhyme. jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of latte's.

A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles. Ah, eagles, said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.

How do you think Julie Ceasar killed his enemies... With a pair of Ceasars 😂😂👌

A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven year olds. The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says yay i i got me a full house.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

Whats the difference betwee a pair of jeans and an african baby?

A pair of jeans only has 1 fly .

Why does shows have a family? Because they are Pair-rents!

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system. He agrees and the doctors turn to dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his christmas present ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. the ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.

You know having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

What are twins’ favorite fruit?

Pairs 🍐.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, "okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "what?" As he looked over at Jim.