A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
Why does shows have a family? Because they are Pair-rents!
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they dont have another pair of Balls
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex. The poor guy asks the rich guy "what'd you get for your wife today?" The rich guy replies " I got her a diamond ring and a mercedes" The poor guy asks "Why did you get two gifts for her?" Rich guy says "If she doesn't like the diamond ring then she can return it in her mercedes" Rich guy asks the poor guy " what'd you get for your wife" Poor guy says " I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo" Rich guy asks "why did you get two gifts for her?" The poor guy says " If she doesnt like the slippers then she can go fuck herself. "
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
You know having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
What do the twin towers and the genders have in common,that they were only two.
Why do golfers bring an extra pear of socks, in case they get a whole in one
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Ok I put one penny down do you smell anything? :1 scent I put two penny's down do you see any fruit? :2 pairs I put three penny's down do you see and law enforcement? :3 coppers I put four penny's down do you see any cars? :4 Lincolns I put 5 penny's down do you see any pussies? : NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he get a hole in one.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his. One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?" He, then, looks me straight in the eyes, and say,"Raw!"
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
Why was the belt placed under arrest? For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
I’m part of the anti anime association but I’m starting to like anime. what do I do?
And for the joke- what do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls- sparky
Have you seen the justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts
Bruh
But actually, it's a parody
Wait actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
If you have a pair and it runs around the street what do you call it a running pair
The poacher agrees but says that his assistant is ill and will need the man to come with him in his assistant's place. The man agrees and so the poacher goes out to the jungle with the man.
The poacher brings a pair of handcuffs, a long stick, a shotgun and a dog. They search through the jungle for about an hour and then spot a male gorilla above in the treetops.
The man asks the poacher what the plan is. The poacher replies "I'm going to climb the tree and, when I get close enough, I'm going to start poking the gorilla with the stick until it falls out of the tree.
The dog is a specially trained dog. When the gorilla falls out of the tree, the dog will try to bite off the gorilla's balls. When the gorilla moves its hands to protect it's balls, you put the handcuffs on it."
This all seems to make sense to the man but he has one question. "What is the shotgun for?" he asks the poacher. The poacher responds: "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog."
Why do nuns go round in pairs? So one nun makes sure the other nun don't get none!
