Ownership jokes
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"
The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"
The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
