Ownership jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?
..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?
Neither has he.
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a car in my garage.
I saw a little kid on their bike before. So I ran home to see if it was mine. Mine was still chained up, so we’re good.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.