Ownership jokes

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?

I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?

Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?

"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩

Sike, I lied, your Minecraft account is mine!

What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?

I don't have a sex slave in my basement...

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

Why do orphans support slavery?

They finally have an owner.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

Two businessmen bought the Milwaukee Bucks for $500 million. They are very excited about their transaction, for this is the only legal way to own black people.

How many genders are there?

One, women are property.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!