Ownership jokes

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.

What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?

Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.

How many genders are there?

One, women are property.

What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't own a Ferrari.

What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a car in my garage.

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.

Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?

Neither has he.

I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.

"Hippity hoppity, women are my property."

There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:

Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.

Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.

These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.

Only Ninety's kids know about this.

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?

I don't have a sex slave in my basement...

Sike, I lied, your Minecraft account is mine!

"HEY THAT’S MY MILK!"

The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.

What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?

Both were owned by their own kind.

What is a dog?

A pet.