Ownership jokes
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What's the difference between an orphan and a puppy?
Parents enjoy the presents of a puppy.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a car in my garage.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
"Hippoty hoppity, women are property."
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?
Neither has he.
"Hippity hoppity, women are my property."
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
Sike, I lied, your Minecraft account is mine!
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.