Own jokes
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
Your forehead so big it's got its own gravitational pull.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
Why can't an orphan go to S. C. Johnson?
Because it's family owned.
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.