What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We’re closed."
Outing Jokes
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.
I guess the queen ran out of totems of undying.
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cold.
Cold who?
"It is cold out here!"
There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.
In her religion, you NEVER pull out.
Why did the clock go out to the gazebo? To spend some time out.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
He got a paper cut and bled out.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."
An alligator is in a class, turns out he likes teaching!
