Outing jokes

"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.

Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.

What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?

They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.

I woke up one day to find handcuffs on my bed. Turns out, the girl I drugged yesterday escaped.

Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

A: You give them a Sandy Hook.

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

Somewhere out there, a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for BLESSEDBRIAN. I think he owes it an apology.

Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?

Because their car ran out of RHYME.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.

We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.

You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.

Mummy, how was I born?

Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."

What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.

How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

Why did the clock go out to the gazebo? To spend some time out.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."