Outing jokes
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"
The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."
The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."
So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"
The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."
The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.
"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
Memes
Guys, we gotta stop telling these jokes. They are getting out of h- oh wait no .... Continue.
Yo daddy so stupid, he threw a Father’s Day party at the orphanage.
What did the Catholic priest say to the other Catholic priest as they entered the orphanage? Let’s us prey.
The 2nd worst thing that happened to an orphan was finding out the milk man passed.
Hey, you might want to look at your butt because there's something coming out of Uranus.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.