Otherness jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?

It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!

DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!

Lancaster: Are you sure about that?

DB: huh?

Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!

DB: WHAT!?

Penta Barrel: I got 5!

DB: *insert becoming uncanny*

Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!

The others: HOW!?

*and that's how an argument started.*

Why did the booger cross the nose?

Answer: To get to the other hole.

I went to the zoo the other day and it only had one dog... yeah, it was a shih tzu.

How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

What did one ass cheek say to the other?

"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.

This is my name: watersharky!

What did the egg say to the other egg?

"You crack me up!" 😂

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?

One is a snack cracker.

The other, a crack snacker.

What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?

One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."