Otherness jokes

Abortion is a difficult topic for me.

On one hand I support it because it kills children.

On the other hand, it gives women a choice.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

"You crack me up!" 😂

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

Two muffins are in an oven.

One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

The pilot goes "We're going down!"

The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

Why did the whale cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide!!! 😂

I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.

I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.

What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.