New Otherness Jokes - Page 40

You don't need brains to be a Boss.

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

Why did the koala climb the tree?

To get to the other branch. :)

He made it, don't worry!

Why did the Titanic and the iceberg hate each other?

Because the Titanic hit it.

There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.

The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"

Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"

Walked into a bar the other day and a group of sailors were being loud and shouting about all the women they have in port that had given them gonorrhea...

Bloody seamen.

In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.

My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.

This is the true worst joke ever:

What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?

Hi!

Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?

Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!

What is the difference between a nerd and leafyishere?

One is fun to laugh at, bully, and roast, and the other is just a nerd.

One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.

After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.