Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
