Orphan jokes
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
Why do orphans hate going to Costco? Because they need a parent to get samples.