Orphan Jokes

Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

Why did the orphan commit mass murder?

To be on top of the wanted list.

Why was the orphan walking through the neighborhood? I don't know, either. It's not like he has a home to go to.

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.

A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.

Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆

How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.

An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.

i was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.

What's missing in an orphanage computer?

"The mother board."

Teacher: Describe a penguin

Student: Black, White, Beak

Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan

Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family

Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow

Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes

Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?

Student: It describes you tho.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

last night i burned down an orphanage there was one survivor who said i would regret it i said "what are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

why do orphans hate going to costco because they need a parent to get samples

I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you’re an orphan

A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."