Order jokes
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
Y'all, these 9/11 jokes ain't funny. I ordered a plain pizza in the Twin Towers.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
What kind of pizza can't an orphan order?
Familiar pizza.
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!
The Twin Towers ordered pepperoni pizza, instead they got plain.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."