Order jokes
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?
Y'all, these 9/11 jokes ain't funny. I ordered a plain pizza in the Twin Towers.
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
What kind of pizza can't an orphan order?
Familiar pizza.
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
Why did the chair file a restraining order?
The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!
The Twin Towers ordered pepperoni pizza, instead they got plain.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
You know shit is going down when anything pumped up kicks related is brought into school.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."