One jokes
If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"
On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.
One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.
Why did Adolf Hitler wish he had two nuts?
Because he only had one.
Why does no one die a virgin? Cause life fucks us all.
We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One reads, the other breeds.
What's the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One is glowing and the other is blowing.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
What’s the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One kneels for salvation.
The other kneels with salivation.
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.