A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
One Jokes
You want to know what annoying people and dogs have in common.
The female ones are called "bitch."
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Africa has every type of gun but one...
A water gun.
What do orphans do after they win a game?
Nothing, they have no one to play games with.
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
If one of ya'll could find my weave, that'd be great!
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
One day I threw a boomerang...
Now I live in constant fear.
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?
An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
