Olympics jokes
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics?
Because they practice at the best schools.
Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"
Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"
Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."
Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"
Husband: "Gold, of course!"
Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?
WALKING!
What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?
I AM keeping Trak!
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.