Old Jokes

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sets fire to computer

What is a playground that is old

.? A rotten playground

in america 1 in 10 houses there are a paedophiles

not me i live next to a smoking hot 8 year old

How am I an ableist? My ex girlfriend was in a wheelchair and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to 8th floor.

What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?

My bum hurts

in my locality there was an orphanage but everybody in the locality was really sexist too so they had to change the orphanage into a brothel cuz everybody took the boys away and nobody was taking the girls and the manager didnt want to waste any 14 year old pussy . did he?

Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner." The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus. The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz. The third lady says, "I never had a husband." The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo." They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying. The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse." "How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"

A pedophile is at a School Parent night. He's holding hands with a Eight year old Girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him oh what a darling little girl you have there. The Pedophile replies no then points his finger to a child across the room and says that's my child.

I was out dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 47, had many people shouting at me and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends

YO MAMA IS SO OLD THAT WHEN SHE WAS IN HISTORY CLASS AS A KID ALL THEY LEARNED ABOUT WAS THEMSELVES

What do you call a 17 year old orphan? Homeless

What Costco food is associated with Michael Joseph Jackson? The Jackson dog. It's 49 year old saussge between 6 year old buns.

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist? They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old

I like Christmas. It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys. :) yaaaaay 😁

Why didn't Michael Jackson date 25 year olds?

Because there were only 20 of them

I like my girlfriends new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one 😀

Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I'm not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, "Your wife" The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"