Old jokes

World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?

A: He was in a mid-life crisis.

What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?

Homeless.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?

Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?

because it was rated RRRRGGGG.

I am guessing you don't understand :(

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

What do old people have when they are sick.

A going away party.

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends.

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?

He said he was awfully touched!

Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."