Old enough

Old enough jokes

Grandpa

  • One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No," said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."

    The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough," his grandpa replied.

    The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself."

  • 12
  • Time

  • I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

  • 0
  • Mummy

  • Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?

    Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.

    That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.

    Wife

  • A guy asked me what I do for a living.

    Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

    Comedian

  • My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

    Driver

  • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!

    Big Bang

  • The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.

  • 0
  • Pedophile

  • My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

    It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

  • 18
  • Anniversary

  • I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

  • 14
  • Grandfather

  • One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says, “Well, can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied, “No.” So the grandpa says, “Okay,” and leaves it at that and walks off.

    A few years later, the boy asks his grandfather for some money again, and his grandfather once again asks, “Can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says, “Yes, it can.” To which the grandpa says, “Good, now go fuck yourself.”

  • 0
  • Community talk

    Poll ·
  • TRUE OR FLAS?

    My name Stalin Hitler Puton the 7 Jr.

    My Age Old enough for an 11yr

    My occupation Take a guess....

  • Hi Matt, once my account is old enough, can I please have dev? Thanks- Chloe. :P