Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
OH Jokes
Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!
So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roses are red, my toaster too,
Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
This ole boy picked up this hooker and was getting some head driving down the road, and she started gagging on it a little, and he said, "Oh yeah baby, you like that big dick, don't ya?" and she said, "Oh baby, it's not that, ya asshole stinks!"
Oh, sweetheart, you brighten me.
Uranus be like, "Oh look, I'm Uranus. Imagine how disgusted I feel."
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Time for a random Terraria joke.
Q: Why did the guide die at his house?
A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.
(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!
