OH jokes

Orphan

  • Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

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    Height

  • Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

    Kid: Please.

    Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

    Kid: Everybody is hugging.

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  • Orphan

  • What did the orphan say to its parents?

    "Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

    They people: "No."

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    Anxiety

  • Friend: How's it going?

    Me: Good, things are good!

    Parent: How are you?

    Me: Oh, I'm fine!

    Twitter: Compose new tweet?

    Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

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  • Guy

  • How it be when the new guy takes too long...

    Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

    Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

    Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

    Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

    Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

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    Orphan

  • What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

    They cry...

    They scream... with joy.

    "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

    Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

    Butcher

  • First date be like:

    Me: "I work with animals every day."

    Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

    Me: "I'm a butcher."

    Orphan

  • Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.

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    Sex

  • Things you say before sex, Disney addition:

    "Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"

    Knife

  • When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.

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    Orphanage

  • I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

    Christmas

  • Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

    Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

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    Casket

  • Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!