Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"
Little Johnny said, "No, what?"
She answered, "The principal's office."
Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"
The teacher answered, "No, what?"
"You have a d!ck in your mouth!"
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb
None they just beat the room for it being black
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
What starts with ''P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post officE
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!” The doctor then looks at him and says “Have you tried icing?”
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.
What’s long and black?
The line at the unemployment office
Did you know toilets, while you're at work, eat your toilet paper?
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).
I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].
he entered (kinder garten) class the {teacher said luce start for us and say the alphabet) he said a b c d e f g H I J K* just kidding lmno* laugh my nose off (teacher go to the Office right now young man ) i don't understand he just said jokes to the teacher lmao :D
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
