Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.
Because that's what I want.
Why did the cliff feel offended?
Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.
(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was retested 6 offender
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but there will always be something that offends feminists.
Who goes to a comedian show and gets offended?
A feminist.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
The Homo Sexual was a direct descendant of the Homo Genital Erectus, which went extinct in 2037 for being easily offended and its unwillingness to breed.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
