Ocean jokes
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have pockets. I’m
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.