Obesity

Obesity jokes

Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.

Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.

An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.

*A few minutes later*

son: There.

mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?

son: Dad showed me before he died.

mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*

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  • One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

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  • The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"