Obesity jokes

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.

Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.

Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!

Yo mama so fat, she got arrested for carrying 100 pounds of crack.

Yo mama's so fat, she used a telephone pole as a tampon.

Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."

Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.

Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.

What did the fat girl say to the donut?

"I'm going to eat you tonight..."

Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.

An obese kid farts.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Yo mama so fat, she is fat.

What is an obese lady's blood type?

Nutella.

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.

An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.

*A few minutes later*

son: There.

mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?

son: Dad showed me before he died.

mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!