Nut jokes
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Knock, knock.
Whoβs there?
Dragon.
Dragon deez nuts.
Dragon deez nuts who?
DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
Reese's.
Reese's who? Re-sees with deez nuts!
"Hamlet deez nuts go into your mouth??" πππππ
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
Have you ever heard about the new virus in China? It's called Hupun.
Hupun DEEZ NUTS!
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
What do you call nuts on a chin?
My penis in your mouth.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Nutty.
I am a good role model, because you look up to me. Deez nuts!
"Ow! You hit the spot!"
What's the artist imagine something?
Imagine Dragons!
Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.