Nut jokes
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
Snap chat: Aaron10128
Nut
Have you heard of the work called "ligma balls?"
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peanut. Peanut who? Peanut butter open the door!
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut.